Todays Horrorscope for Friday April 25 2025

 

Greeting from the Blotters Blog Horrorscope.

May you have a week of affluence that is copiously full of opulence!

Please remember that this is all in good fun.

Pisces

February 20 - March 20

You are going to have a day full of the fury of the ones that were left behind Pisces!

Todays light will be one that is Spooky like an evil Christmas Tree

Your night will be rainy with a chance of puppies

Yesterdays moon was one that was eaten by squirrels

Look left! Look Right! And here arn't your lucky numbers a sight? 

Your lucky numbers are said to be 14, 36, 37, 6, 16, 80, 96 

Aries

March 21 - April 20

You are going to have a day that is bountiful like yonder waifus bosom as it bounces boobily while she runs type of day! Oh dear Aries! Looks like your pilgrimage starts now.

Todays light will be one that is Haunting like the melodies from your childhood

Your night will be full of the fury of the ones that were forgotten with time as it passes us all by

Yesterdays moon was one that was Shiny like a brand new copper penny

Be warry! Your lucky numbers are said to be 89, 60, 84, 50, 51, 74, 26 

Taurus

April 21 - May 21

Our sincere condolences Taurus! The winds have advised that your day is going to be a Spooky day!

Todays light will be one that is Heaven like getting attention from your favorite cryptid

Your night will be Good

Yesterdays moon was one that was lost in translation

No more waiting with baited breath 

as your lucky numbers are said to be 61, 48, 82, 32, 12, 98, 4 

Gemini

May 22 - June 21

Such a day to be rainy with a chance of puppies Gemini is going to have!

Todays light will be one that is Doubled like a pair of cat eyes

Your night will be one that the stars have bequeathed unto you

Yesterdays moon was one that was Haunting like the 'family friendly' book of scary stories from your childhood

Be not afraid! For your lucky numbers are as follows! 65, 84, 93, 83, 64, 70, 81 

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

Our sincere condolences Cancer! Your day is going to be one hell of a day that is fearful as a new born kitten. Spitting and hissing at the world.! Good luck!

Todays light will be one that is Bountiful of bosom

Your night will be full of the fury of the ones that were left behind

Yesterdays moon was one that was silent and a drift

Look left! Look Right! And here arn't your lucky numbers a sight? Your lucky numbers are said to be 14, 63, 62, 98, 95, 19, 25 

Leo

July 23 - August 22

Congratulations Leo! Your day is going to be a one of revenge!

Todays light will be one that is Bad in the most general way

Your night will be regretting it's actions

Yesterdays moon was one that was Full of gas

Whispers from the shadows are saying that your lucky number are said to be today! 16, 3, 89, 86, 20, 94, 1 

Virgo

August 23 - September 23

The goddess has granted Virgo a day of hell while watching the world burn in a way that is satisfying to you! Word of your plight has reach the ears of many whom would aid you, if only you were to ask.

Todays light will be one that is Heaven like successfully getting true vengeance

Your night will be Cold as the coldest heart of the most wretched soul you know.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Blinking like a it has a faulty connection

Numbers of fortune! Numbers of Woe! Listen here before you go! 79, 68, 82, 98, 65, 74, 8 

Libera

September 24- October 23

Oh woe is be Libera! For your day seems to be swampy and missing frogs!

Todays light will be one that is Flickering like a rave

Your night will be Bountiful

Yesterdays moon was one that was Stoned as one that has gazed upon Medusa without her permission

Here, have these 3, 26, 4, 67, 29, 49, 20 as they have been bequeathed unto you. 

Ophiuchus

November 29 - December 18

Such a eaten by squirrels type of that that Ophiuchus is going to have! 

The gods will fight your enemies for you.

Todays light will be one that is Wanting so much you could hear it screaming

Your night will be full of the fury of the ones that were left behind

Yesterdays moon was one that was Hungry

The wind and the tress have whispered that your lucky numbers are to be 32, 43, 29, 14, 23, 57, 70 ! 

Scorpio

October 24 - November 22

The days go by but for today your day is Hell.

Todays light will be one that is Bountiful like the heart

Your night will be rainy with a chance of dragons

Yesterdays moon was one that was Missing like a shadow in the darkness of the forest of your soul

Whispers from the shadows are saying that your lucky number are said to be today! 88, 89, 87, 73, 70, 52, 49 

Sagittarius

November 23 - December 21

Such a day when The Swamp Hag has blessed you Sagittarius is going to have! It probably would have been a good idea to have stayed in bed.

Todays light will be one that is bad like the decisions you have made

Your night will be well fed and jolly

Yesterdays moon was one that was full of gas

Your lucky numbers are probably going to be but who is to know for sure? 71, 74, 60, 17, 58, 43, 5 

Capricorn

December 22 - January 20

Hmm, bit of a bad turn Capricorn. 

You are going to have a day which will be rainy with a chance of kittens.

Todays light will be one that is Full of the fury of the ages

Your night will be a day when The Swamp Hag was watching you have a good day

Yesterdays moon was one that was Invisible like the kitten that is hiding oh so well in a shoe

Be alert! Your lucky numbers are said to be 14, 11, 27, 95, 93, 89, 31 

Aquarius

January 21 - February 19

Congratulations Aquarius! Your day is looking like it is going to regretting it's actions? 

Well, things can't get possibly worse, right?

Todays light will be one that is Waxed, smooth and silky

Your night will be stagnant

Yesterdays moon was one that was Partial because it's being eaten by mice

Hark! Your lucky numbers scream that they are here for you! They scream that they are 57, 97, 83, 30, 74, 91, 69 

Ever waiting

 .

Ever waiting, forever blinking.

Never receiving the awaited fax.

Crap.

With kindest regards,

The Translator

Todays Horrorscope for Friday April 18 2025

 

Greeting from the Blotters Blog Horrorscope.

May you have a week of affluence that is copiously full of opulence!

Please remember that this is all in good fun.

Pisces

February 20 - March 20

Oh what bountiful luck! For Pisces your day is going to be so fetch.

Todays light will be one that is Famished like a starved dog

Your night will be Hell will come for you another day

Yesterdays moon was one that was New

One day your lucky numbers will win a lottery. 53, 52, 42, 67, 55, 2, 6 

Aries

March 21 - April 20

Oh what sweet luck! For Aries your day is going to be grave.

Todays light will be one that is Haunting like a bad B grade movie that will never be a cult classic

Your night will be a day when The Swamp Hag has ditched you on your date and 

left you with the very large bill

Yesterdays moon was one that was Spooky like a cheesy family friendly Halloween cartoon

Lucky numbers are such a tricky thing! Yet yours appear to be 55, 38, 62, 14, 63, 21, 32 

Taurus

April 21 - May 21

The bees have whispered their song to the Sun and Sky! 

Today Taurus your day will be full of the fury of the ages!

Todays light will be one that is full of finding out

Your night will be terribly full of stress

Yesterdays moon was one that was willfully ignorant

Your lucky numbers are probably going to be 43, 52, 83, 49, 81, 29, 17 

but who is to know for sure?  

Gemini

May 22 - June 21

Your day looks like it's going to be lost in translation. Better luck next time Gemini!

Todays light will be one that is One of revenge

Your night will be rainy with a chance of unicorns

Yesterdays moon was one that was Famished because it needs sustenance

What is this? But numbers of luck! 

They are said to be 19, 32, 23, 99, 25, 10, 71 

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

Such a day Cancer is going to have! The gods weep for you.

Todays light will be one that is Hungry like the wolf

Your night will be rainy with a chance of dragons

Yesterdays moon was one that was Full of gas

Numbers of fortune! Numbers of Woe! 

Listen here before you go! 43, 68, 97, 74, 86, 99, 18 

Leo

July 23 - August 22

You are going to have a day of Heaven! So good luck with that and all it entails Leo!

Todays light will be one that is Good like your favorite drink for a hot summer day.

Your night will be swampy with many frogs

Yesterdays moon was one that was Bountiful

Your lucky numbers are said to be by the sky and the stars that soar in it. 

23, 6, 41, 7, 26, 17, 14 

Virgo

August 23 - September 23

Oh what heart wrenching luck! For Virgo your day is going to be less then fetch.

Todays light will be one that is Hell with the want of things you will never be able to forget

Your night will be Spooky

Yesterdays moon was one that was regretting it's actions

Hark! Your lucky numbers scream that they are here for you! 

They scream that they are 83, 19, 18, 80, 88, 5, 22 

Libera

September 24- October 23

Congratulations Libera! Your day is looking like rainy with a chance of unicorns! Isn't that a gas?

Todays light will be one that is Good like the decisions you haven't made

Your night will be cursing the elders

Yesterdays moon was one that was Envy of a kitten taking a nap in the warm sunbeam

The Sun and the Moon have whispered to thee, 

your lucky numbers are said to be 49, 41, 71, 6, 72, 82, 54 

Ophiuchus

November 29 - December 18

By the stars and their light! Ophiuchus your day will start with running from infants 

and is going to be a day to remember.

Todays light will be one that is Sharp and sporky

Your night will be Cold as the coldest heart of the most wretched soul you know.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Invisible

Your lucky numbers are said to be 10, 96, 98, 16, 60, 85, 75 

Scorpio

October 24 - November 22

Congratulations Scorpio! Your day is like it is going to swampy with many frogs! 

Things couldn't be any better, right?

Todays light will be one that is Bright like a hamster

Your night will be full of finding out

Yesterdays moon was one that was Harvested like the souls of the damned

The wind and the tress have whispered that your lucky numbers are to be 97, 62, 10, 2, 57, 44, 71 ! 

Sagittarius

November 23 - December 21

Oh what good luck! For Sagittarius your day is going to be so fetch.

Todays light will be one that is Dull like a spoon

Your night will be eaten by squirrels

Yesterdays moon was one that was doubled like a shot of espresso your friend 

just kicked back like it was water

Your lucky numbers are said to be 62, 39, 92, 67, 5, 17, 85. 

Better luck next time!  

Capricorn

December 22 - January 20

Congratulations Capricorn! Your day is going to be Fearful! Isn't that a gas?

Todays light will be one that is Hell with the want of things you will never be able to forget

Your night will be Fearful as a new born kitten. Spitting and hissing at the world.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Smooth like a new born booty

Be happy! Your lucky numbers are said to be 5, 59, 41, 83, 72, 20, 12 

Aquarius

January 21 - February 19

The goddess has granted Aquarius a day of ravenous & lustful! 

The earth shakes and trembles with your news.

Todays light will be one that is Invisible like a jet

Your night will be a day when The Swamp Hag was watching you

Yesterdays moon was one that was Devoured by mice

Your lucky numbers are said to be 78, 17, 72, 86, 52, 20, 3. 

But you don't have to take our word for it.  

Millenials are the down trodden

Millenials are the down trodden phinox of our generation.

And the boomers ware the shoes.

But rise they will, and shine through their scars.

With kindest regards,

The Translator

Todays Horrorscope for Friday April 11 2025

 

Greeting from the Blotters Blog Horrorscope.

May you have a week of affluence that is copiously full of opulence!

Please remember that this is all in good fun.

Pisces

February 20 - March 20

Oh what terrible luck! For Pisces your day is going to be less then fetch.

Todays light will be one that is Mysterious as the women in the shadows.

Your night will be Good like the warmth of the first sip of your favorite hot drink.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Bountiful like a perfect charcuterie board.

No more waiting with baited breath as Your lucky numbers are said to be 34, 57, 53, 76, 82, 42, 33 

A quote for your week.

 “An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.” 

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Aries

March 21 - April 20

Forsooth Aries! 

Woe to thoughts that cross your path as your day will be one that the stars have bequeathed unto you!

Todays light will be one that is Wanting so much you could hear it screaming.

Your night will be well fed and jolly.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Full.

Your lucky numbers are said to be . Better luck next time! 7, 34, 45, 68, 59, 18, 15 

A quote for your week. 

“The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!” 

― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

Taurus

April 21 - May 21

Oh dear, Taurus. Looks like your day is going to be willfully ignorant? 

Well, things can't get possibly worse, right?

Todays light will be one that is Missing and listed on local milk boxes.

Your night will be Hell because you know you did the thing 

but you still will question yourself for the rest of the day.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Partial because it's being eaten by mice.

May these numbers find you lucky. 74, 77, 22, 53, 81, 28, 62 

A quote for your week. 

“I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” 

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Gemini

May 22 - June 21

 By the stars and their light! Gemini your day is going to be one of peace and relaxation.

Todays light will be one that is Good in a nice comforting way.

Your night will be ravenous & lustful.

Yesterdays moon was one that was grave.

Be not afraid! For your lucky numbers are as follows! 76, 6, 53, 91, 20, 70, 59

A quote for your week. 

“She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.” 

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

The goddess has granted Cancer a day of the sort that is like a good like the warmth of the first sip of your favorite hot drink! We would go on but she has requested the rest to be kept a secret.

Todays light will be one that is Flickering like a rave.

Your night will be Hot.

Yesterdays moon was one that was well fed and jolly.

Here, have these 80, 77, 90, 87, 94, 65, 56 as they have been bequeathed unto you. 

A quote for your week. 

“When I say that life is like an onion, I mean this: if you don't do anything with it, it goes rotten. So far, that's no different from other vegetables. But when an onion goes bad, it can either do it from the inside, or the outside. So sometimes you see one that looks good, but the core is rotten. Other times, you can see a bad spot on it, but if you cut that out, the rest is fine. Tastes sharp, but that's what you paid for, isn't it?” 

― Steven Brust, Yendi

Leo

July 23 - August 22

Oh dear, Leo.

 Looks like your day is going to be full of the hokey-pokey? 

Such a shame.

Todays light will be one that is Twinkling gently between the branches.

Your night will be Bountiful like yonder waifus bosom as it bounces boobily while she runs.

Yesterdays moon was one that was happenstance.

The Sun and the Moon have whispered to thee, your lucky numbers are said to be 52, 74, 1, 45, 15, 69, 73 

A quote for your week. 

“The proof that these words marked the event… is the very fact that no other words have ever been recorded; and it is well known that ‘historians’ of the popular school dearly love to mark great events by the words which accompanied them. What reason would they have for ignoring words to mark the occasion except that these words fail, in their judgment, to convey the proper sense of the occasion?” 

― Steven Brust, The Lord of Castle Black

Virgo

August 23 - September 23

Congratulations Virgo! 

Your day is like it is going to be a day when The Swamp Hag has cursed you? Such a shame.

Todays light will be one that is Spooky like the cutest little kitten.

Your night will be rainy with a chance of super tasty food.

Yesterdays moon was one that was out of it's normal milk and was sad about it.

Be alert! Your lucky numbers are said to be 19, 34, 25, 37, 96, 47, 14 

A quote for your week. 

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” 

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Libera

September 24- October 23

The goddess has granted Libera a day of Hell because you know you did the thing but you still will question yourself for the rest of the day! Hope and misery will be at war once more.

Todays light will be one that is Hell with the want of things you will never be able to forgive.

Your night will be willfully ignorant.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Blinking like a it has a faulty connection.

Numbers of fortune! Numbers of Woe! Listen here before you go! 67, 32, 87, 2, 68, 23, 93 

A quote for your week. 

“When you don’t have the skill you need, you hire someone who does; and when you can’t do that, you find a way to fake it. Some days I think that explains most of my career.” 

― Steven Brust, Hawk

Ophiuchus

November 29 - December 18

By the stars and their light! Ophiuchus your rainy with a chance of three gnomes in a trench coat is going to be filled with danger!

Todays light will be one that is Famished like a starved dog.

Your night will be Hell as everything burns to the ground around you.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Shiny.

Whispers from the shadows are saying that your lucky number are said to be today! 10, 9, 33, 32, 3, 45, 21 

A quote for your week. 

“There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.” 

― Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Scorpio

October 24 - November 22

Such a well fed and jolly day Scorpio is going to have! May the goddess continue to smile on you.

Todays light will be one that is Spooky like the darkened cave under the waterfalls.

Your night will be Hell.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Blinking at you.

Little lucky numbers that are said to be 60, 15, 74, 10, 33, 4, 68 

A quote for your week. 

“Most people seem to take pleasure in feeling superior to someone. I'm not like that, which pleases me because it makes me feel superior.” 

― Steven Brust, Jhegaala

Sagittarius

November 23 - December 21

You are going to have a bountiful as the feast of the ancient on their day of naming type of day! 

Oh dear Sagittarius! And it looks like your coupons are expired as well.

Todays light will be one that is Full of the fury of the ages.

Your night will be out of it's normal milk and was sad about it.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Wistful for a time when it can relax.

The winds of luck have shined upon you! Your lucky numbers are said to be 15, 61, 11, 96, 47, 37, 57

 

A quote for your week. 

"I have been guilty of several monographs. They are all upon technical subjects. Here, for example, is one 'Upon the Distinction between the Ashes of the Various Tobaccos'. In it I enumerate a hundred and forty forms of cigar, cigarette, and pipe tobacco, with coloured plates illustrating the difference in the ash." 

- The Sign of the Four a Sherlock Holmes novel

Capricorn

December 22 - January 20

The goddess has granted Capricorn a day of rainy with a chance of super tasty food! 

Do as you wish with this news.

Todays light will be one that is Terribly full of stress.

Your night will be swampy and missing frogs.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Empty and vacant like the eyes of a retail worker during the winter holidays.

What is this? But numbers of luck! They are said to be 69, 58, 89, 38, 68, 2, 46 

A quote for your week. 

“Categories, if you’ll excuse a brief digression, are a useful way to get a handle on things you don’t understand, as long as you don’t get too attached to them and forget that things like to pop out of one category and into another, and that sometimes the whole category turns itself inside out and becomes something different. It’s useful, for example, to categorize your target as a sorcerer, if he is one; but if you get too attached to your category it’ll leave you embarrassed when he suddenly pulls a knife on you.” 

― Steven Brust, The Book of Dragon: Dragon and Issola

Aquarius

January 21 - February 19

Our sincere condolences Aquarius! 

Your day is going to be one hell of a day that is rainy with a chance of fun!

Todays light will be one that is Relaxing like a good shower.

Your night will be rainy with a chance of horses.

Yesterdays moon was one that was Waxed like a fresh bikini line.

By the moons and by the seas! Your lucky numbers here they be! 44, 99, 19, 72, 73, 96, 87 

A quote for your week. 

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters.” 

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice